so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In America we eat man semen.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
