Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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