You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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