Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I understand Curling. That high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
