i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
