And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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