Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why are your pants in the freezer?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
