So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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