So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
