If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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