oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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