this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
