Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
