If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
