Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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