It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
