I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
