I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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