some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
