Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
NoShamevember. You game?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
