mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
