drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
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