He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
