There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
