I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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