I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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