I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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