Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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