she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
