I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Randomize
