I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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