I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
