You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
