ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
