you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
