What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
