Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
