idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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