he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
