I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
