Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
