they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
