actually, I'm a sock model
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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