My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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