Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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