Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
