Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
