Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
