Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
