I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Everyone says I win the strip club
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
