My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
