these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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