Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
