I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
