I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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