I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
