I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
