where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
