Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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