Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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